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„Gyerekkoromban nem volt divat az aggresszió!
Ha valaki bántotta a másikat először a tanár pofozta fel, majd otthon a szülők.”

#joke

#joke


How much small print did you have to read before you could boot your computer for the first time?


#linux #mac #windows #macos #microsoft #boot #licence #agreement #meme #nerd #humor #just4fun #lol #fun #funny #joke #economy #freedom #foss #floss #gnu #gpl


This one is always making me laugh.

The risk I took was calculated. But man. Am I bad at math.


#joke

#joke


Oracle

- Sir, you will live forever!
- Really?!
- Yes! ...unless something happens.

#joke

#joke


"Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes! Then when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."

#joke

#joke


„I was watching a show where a lady was listing of these great things to do for fun. Then I realized that it's a religious channel, and she was reading a list of sins."

#joke

#joke


"The ''ea'' in "tea" is silent."

#joke

#joke


I'm not saying that I found the perfect license plate but...

(H)ELL-666

#licenseplate #funny #hell #joke
Photo of the front of a vehicle with the license plate "ELL-666", the country badge is "H", making it look like "HELL-666".


1941, in German occupied Paris, at a café a German coloner sits next to the French actress, and asks her:
- Kaffe? Oder lieber Tee?
- Liberté!

#joke from the #past


- whatwas your favourite band when you were 15?
- UHF.

#joke
#joke


A man gets a date with a female clown. He picks her up at the circus, they have a lovely dinner, then they drive to a secluded area when they have their affair. The car squeaks, the windows fog up, the whole shebang. Once done, they drive back to the circus, and out of the car emerges the female clown, and another clown, and another clown, and another clown, and another clown, and another clown...

#joke
#joke


How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

#joke #jokes #puns #joking


@mkarliner

re: "Working on it. Bear with me."

The Aggressive Little Pig falls into a pit. He shouts loudly, the Bear hears him, looks down into the pit and says:
- Wait a moment, I'll get a ladder!
The little pig screams back at him:
- I WILL NOT WAIT!

#hungarian #joke


When #Stirlitz walked through the park in the night he noticed a pair of eyes up in a tree.
- Stupid Müller! - thought Stirlitz.
- Stupid Stirltz! - thought the owl.

#joke #1973


My twin sister called me from prison. She said: "You know how we finish each other's sentences?"
#joke #pun
#joke #pun


"The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian."
#joke
#joke


Lost my job at the keyboard factory yesterday...

I wasn't putting in enough shifts apparently.

I was out of CTRL.

#jokes #joke #joking


"You are average, that's why you're so mean."

#math #joke #truth