so I have a question about #crowdFunding #mutualAid which I see all the time but have never started one... I have a friend who is (once again) fighting with an abusive ex who decided to just take her child without letting her see him again, with no legal right (they're unmarried but he's on the birth certificate). she's been trying as hard as she can to handle things peacefully by just signing a parental agreement, but he's refusing to even look at it and is hiring his own lawyer, forcing her to hire her own.

she's already suffering massive medical debt from a myriad of life saving surgeries over the last two years (incurred by stress, I bet!) and what little extra she was able to make beyond everyday expenses and paying off her medical debt, she's been saving to try to buy her own condo, but looks like that's out the window.

I finally got her to agree to let me start a Kickstarter or indie gogo or whatever it is most people use these days for mutual aid, but she's very worried if her identity gets out the ex might retaliate, or she might get in trouble with her job.

what's my first step with that? how do I assure donors that the money goes to her, without revealing her identity? what goal should I set, and how do I encourage people to donate?

I don't really have friends with disposable income, and I know there are so many crowdfunding posts floating around already ("This is America," after all) that strangers are unlikely to donate either... should I even bother trying to set one up? it's just she already has so much medical debt like I said, and the bastard has already withheld her child without warning for nearly a full week, with no signs of relenting 😰

oh and he already has a previous criminal history of getting arrested and getting restraining orders to stay away from her multiple times, and we have audio recordings of him and his mother threatening and verbally abusing her.

I feel like if we can find a decent #familyLaw #lawyer for her, we've got this in the bag. the problem is that good lawyers cost A LOT, and she's already suffering so much debt already, and I don't have a ton of disposable income to give her either 😕