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I know who needed to read this 3 years ago but maybe it can help someone else now, it's okay to come out as #transgender, but you can't expect everyone in your life outside of your relatives to keep the same kind of relationship with you after they know. Because even if you're the same person, you're changing the way you present yourself, gender, body and mind, especially if you're on Hormone Replacement Therapy. And it doesn't have anything to do with transphobia if most relationships drastically change or stop altogether because of that fact.

The sad truth is that nobody but you can know yourself deep down, everyone else only knows the person you're presenting. And relationships can very well continue after a coming out, but not necessarily, and there's nothing you or they can do about that.
#transgender
This entry was edited (4 years ago)
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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My girlfriend once said it (we both are heterosexual), that she wants a man who is masculine. Similar for me, as I want a (biological) woman who is feminine.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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And there's nothing either of you can do about that. It is not great to say it publicly because it can hurt the people whose opportunity for romantic relationships may already be slimmer due to their identity/sexuality, but it still is a fact.
This entry was edited (4 years ago)
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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No offense towards transsexual people, they just need to understand how heterosexuality works. A heterosexual man is not into a biological man (with XY chromosomes), same with a heterosexual woman, not into a biological woman (XX).

And it does matter what is between the legs for us (heterosexuals) a lot. I'm not talking here about society, that they (trans) are accepted in society, more on a romantic/sexual level. As loose friends they are okay with me (and her, too) as long as they respect our preferences back.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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Oh believe me they do understand how heterosexuality works, and they certainly do not need to be regularly reminded of that fact.

If you are confortable in this sexual orientation then you do not have to tell about it publicly. Not sure what even « not respecting your preferences back » would be like in this context.
This entry was edited (4 years ago)
Nanook
Nanook  
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I have a friend who started out as male, transitioned to female including anatomical surgery. He now she, ended up marrying a woman. I don't know what to make of that relationship. Are they gay, since they're both now women? or straight since he started out a biological male? I try to be respectful of now her desire to identify as a woman but since he didn't when I first knew him it's still a difficult mental adjustment for me to make and I slip once in a while.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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It would feel weird to me, being with a biological man who identifies as woman and has XY chromosomes and no vulva, vagina, uterus, cervis, et cetera.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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I feel this comment is uncalled for. You have obviously no doubt about your gender and sexuality, and no one asks you to undergo the same invasive surgery if you don't wish so, so why are you still trying?
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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#okcupid #straight #transsexual #homosexual #ONS #sixty-nine #boyish #heterosexual
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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I recant my statement about you having no doubt about your sexuality, which might explain why you are so adamant about it and sensitive about the content of these videos.

My bottom line still is, your sexual preferences are your sexual preferences, and no one else but yourself needs to know about it, especially since they are so exclusionary, because they can be hurtful to simply read.

You will get no medal from me from stating them here for sure.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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My girlfriend knows about my sexual preferences and that is being a heterosexual and biological man I'm into heterosexual and biological women only. Heterosexual men are not into (sucking) dicks when it comes to sexual activities. We don't do that and so with being into biological women (and that they identify as feminine, of course).

I don't suck dick, I lick pussy. And I don't need a medal from you or anyone. Just respect heterosexual men's/women's preferences and we are all good.
Nanook
Nanook  
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The whole "gay pride" thing has always been a mystery to me. It makes sense to be proud of something you've accomplished, but to be proud of something you intrinsically are makes no sense.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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#Dortmund #LGBTQ+ #vegan #Krefeld #Nibirii
Nanook
Nanook  
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Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Maybe some #straight men didn't understood the phrase "a man" here, meaning a #penis . I respect her openness to tell that she used to be a man.
#straight #Penis
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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Why would you bother an unknown couple to wish them luck?
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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There are lots of "proud to be X". A local bank even printed stickers with "proud to be from <village>". They made them for every rural village in the area, but people liked them.
This kind of proudness is a way to meet like minded people.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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Slipping is fine as long as you correct yourself to presumably female pronouns. But what they are together isn't relevant to you or me. It's their own business and we don't need to guess.
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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And maybe, some people want to have children...
I know that's a rocky road, with no guarantee of success, but starting out with a trans blocks it immediately.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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You can still adopt, even heterosexual couples do it, so any kind of queer couple doesn't automatically preclude from raising children. It may not be viewed favorably by your local adoption agency though.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Why would you want to date a transsexual only for later on adopting children? It makes no sense, unless you are not fully heterosexual but more bisexual or homosexual.

And have transsexuals ever though of how they have been created or made? By a sexual act involving sperm fertilizing an ovum. Humanity doesn't exist because of we adopt children (from other what then?), humanity exist because we MAKE children and that always requires both, one sperm cell and one ovum.

Sure, for many couples (declining birthrates in "Western" countries) it isn't about having children but they should really consider a brutal and scary, horrifying fact:

Your bloodline that exist for millions of years and through hundred-thousands of generates ends irreversible with YOU!
Nanook
Nanook  
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Personally I don't worry about what works for other people, I worry about what works for me. I've been married, 42 years, to a biological female, I am biological male. We've had and raised 4 children, and for us that works, but not everybody wants children and arguably there are plenty to go around in the world today.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Some dream-dancers may call you selfish because you love your own (biological) children more than others ... Yes, I met them on street and they wanted to hear 5 reasons why they should make children now. My 6th argument would be the one I said already.
Nanook
Nanook  
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I don't follow the importance you ascribe to bloodline. Windows 3.11 worked for a while, it's served it's purposes, its dead and gone, other things move on, so it is with us.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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We may not see each other eye to eye on much politically, but I do agree with you there.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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But you can reinstall it, if you wish. Not your bloodline, it is dead, period!
Nanook
Nanook  
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Well nature could recreate all the conditions and perhaps somewhere in a universe with 100 billion galaxies each with 100 billion stars, somewhere it has or will. We are spirits with a body, the body is transient and I don't know that it's bloodline is all that important, unless you are inbred royalty.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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But for how long should people wait thousands of years? There is no self-reproduction possible with us human and not even in the foreseeable future.

Plus, I don't date my own family members.
Nanook
Nanook  
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Then your blood line is diluted 50% on average with every generation. So it's being diluted into non-existence anyway.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Do I have to clarify myself? I don't commit incest. And guess what, my sexual partners I'm making a child with are all from an other bloodline, which is good for variety in DNA.
Nanook
Nanook  
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I didn't suggest that you did, only that that's the only way you maintain a "bloodline", the way that royalty do.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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For me, I also enjoy my sexuality for non-reproduction purposes, like pleasuring my partner with #Cunnilingus or being pleasured by her through #Fellatio or whatever we are up to. And there is nothing wrong about that, oral sex is just fine.

I want to enjoy life, too. And it is short. Still I make sure that I have at least one or two descendants with at least one of my partners and I do have one own daughter. 😀
#Cunnilingus #Fellatio
Nanook
Nanook  
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Different strokes.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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So you are accusing me of incest falsely. I'm German/European my ex-wife is a #Filipina . How can we be from the same bloodline? My now-girlfriend is an African, how can we be of same bloodline?
#Filipina
Nanook
Nanook  
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No, I am saying that since your not your blood line is not maintained, it is diluted 50% every generation, you've got very little of the DNA from the life you descended from some 3-1/2 or 4 billion years ago.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Ah, okay. I understood it that way. And good you didn't kill that bloodline as you have 4 children (all own biological, I assume?). It is not my business when they (transsexual, homosexual, bisexual and even heterosexual) don't want own children. It becomes mine when they call me selfish wanting own children and accuse me indirectly for the (non-existing here in "Western" countries) population boom. They mention that as a reason, that they don't want to over-populate the world and I should show some decent solidarity by adopting children from poor families. That adopted child is ripped out of its original world and environment and friend-circle and is brought into a complete different world, e.g. when we speak of #African children.
#African
Nanook
Nanook  
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Yes but I think my bloodline dies with my children, only one of them has an interest and his chosen partner has health problems.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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And maybe from even 10 generations back, no original DNA is left. 10*50% is really less (and I'm aware of that that fact that I share 50% of both mother and father).
Nanook
Nanook  
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You will have mitochondrial DNS ten generations back because that you inherit from your mother only.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Ten was only an example, nothing I would even remotely think about.
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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What the fuck man, get off your high horse, you are doing no one a favor here.

I don't understand where this natalism comes from but I don't want to have to do anything with it. You want kids, have kids, leave other people be.
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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Wouldn't that be a reason to be proud? When your bloodline ends with you, then you are the ultimate product of eons of evolution. All your ancestors where a study to produce you: the ultimate end stadium of evolution.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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I applaud you in advantage! Job well done! You have archived something useful in your short life!
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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That's me: always finding the sunny side of life ;)
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Kids are beautiful. I have been to the birth of my daughter and it was my obligation to cut the umbilical cord.
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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True, but I don't think about blood lines, when looking at my children. Although seeing them look, or act like my family is special.
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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It's different. Some people like external secondary sex characteristics, some people like the whole reproductive process.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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What do you mean by "secondary sex characteristics"? Sure some heterosexual likes only the reproductive process as they find everything else (#Cunnilingus , #Fellatio and anal/vaginal sex for non-reproductive purposes) "dirty" or morally "wrong". I by the way, enjoy my heterosexuality for both sides reproductive and non-reproductive purposes with my girlfriend.
#Cunnilingus #Fellatio
Frank Wijnans
Frank Wijnans  
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I mean: that what grows during puberty, making you look male or female.
There's more in a hetrosexual relationship than the looks of the body.
The fertility-dimension is part of it, even if you're not planning to have children.
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Ah, in simpler language: The enjoyable sex that is not for reproduction only but for pleasuring your partner? I'm fine with that. I just don't want to be told who I should love or else I'm called *phobic. And hey, seriously, which heterosexual man is into a biological man (trans woman)? And same with a heterosexual woman, which is into a biological woman (trans man)?
Hypolite Petovan
Hypolite Petovan  
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Why do you even care if you're happy with your partner? Why do you have to take it so personally?

Please take your weird insecurity about sexuality and reproduction elsewhere, this is the last time I'll ask.
Nanook
Nanook  
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You got block, ignore, and block author in your options, ain't one
of those sufficient to solve this problem?
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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No, that's not a free society where nobody is being judged for their sexual/dating/whatever preferences. Once heterosexuals, and I'm not the only one with this kind of desire, express their desires and preferences we are being called *phobic because we don't respect them.

Let Barf from #Spaceballs speak for me: "It's not us."
#Spaceballs
Roland Häder
Roland Häder  
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Generally said, what I wish for is that nobody has to come out and respects each other's preferences.
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