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Currently it is the point of life when my mom asks me how I am the only possible answer is: "I am fine".

Anything remotely negative will get her worrying and result in great fuss and possibly health complications for her.

So I am never sick, things at work are always great and all is fine. It is better not to talk politics too and it's where I usually slip up.

#life
#life
Kazimierz Kurz
Kazimierz Kurz  
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Well, I suppose this is the problem of many mothers in the world. It is very sad, because in fact you have to lie.

Suppose I have said something different than "it is OK". Then she will think about it, not sleep at night etc. But on my side, this not OK circumstances may vanish 15 minutes after I have told her about it. So I have to call, and communicate change, beginning thoroug discussion usually, on topics which are of minor weight, and problems was resolved within 15 minutes...

It is a sign, someone, usually woman, is living someone's else life, instead of her own. From my observation it is quite common. And as you probably noticed, hard for people beloved.

Is she just ignore my problems, until really severe, I would communicate truth. As it is not possible and everything is exaggerated, I cannot.

It is kind of solitude we faces. Sad thing.
Iron Bug
Iron Bug  
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the next stage will be 'you don't pay attention to us, we will die and you'll never know!'
I've already got sick from this. when people get older they begin to think the world spins around them.
Alexander
Alexander  
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Yep, when people get older they are more susceptible to this.

This is ironic even. I am pretty sure aging parents want to be involved in lives of their adult children more - because there is less time left and all. But at the same time exactly this behavior is pushing them away.
Robert Biloute - on diaspora-fr.org
Robert Biloute - on diaspora-fr.org  
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I think women are victims of those tendencies as much as men can be victims of there tendencies to external violence for instance. The thing is the former are quite encouraged nowadays, while the latter have been rather more and more repressed. I have no problem with violence repression (well to a certain extent), but I think control and safety deliria you often encounter in mothers (but is not completely exclusive to motherhood or even a given sex) must be taken for what it is : a nuisance for everyone, something that should be controlled or eradicated.
Of course mother care is important, but it's crazy how much psychological pain you can inflict to someone for his own sake. In the end it's either uncontrolled and close to craziness, and those women are suffering and should be helped by professionals, or well controlled and eventually completely and utterly selfish behaviour mimicking true carefulness.
Alexander
Alexander  
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@Kazimierz Kurz - yes, it is easier with smaller things. I do communicate minor mishaps e.g. my seven year old PC breaking down so I have to buy parts for it or how I had to work on the weekend because someone went wrong.

It is worse with bigger things though - like right now I am sick with some flu. Surely I will get better but this will take a week or so. If I tell it will be constant source of worry, annoyance (sorry) and thinking the worst. Or when the first lockdown happened our company had some challenges - they reduced pay, sacked some people, etc... We recovered in three months and then I told - not when it happened.

Of course mother care is important, but it's crazy how much psychological pain you can inflict to someone for his own sake. In the end it's either uncontrolled and close to craziness
@Robert Biloute - on diaspora-fr.org - yes, exactly this.
@Robert Biloute - on diaspora-fr.org @Kazimierz Kurz
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