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When people lay down the rules of "the culture" here, they are really only speaking for their own instance and/or their immediate network. Remember, there are all kinds of nasty people on here, they're just in another building, as it were, and most of us have bouncers to keep them out of ours.

If you're told off, it may simply be that you're in the wrong building. Just as in real life, different groups have different standards without anyone necessarily being wrong.
these days people crisscrossing between posts and boosts and following random people and entering random threads to start up their presence. There isn't a warmup phase as #fediverse don't offer that: if you're not getting involved you get no messages. That's a hard period, when regulars should keep repeat with extreme patience the expected #norms here, apart from the local server specific norms.
Some pepole think this can be skipped, but they're wrong (IMHO).
@grin Not everybody has the same norms, though, and that's fine. The public timelines should, IMO, be treated as any public space. There will be people there you disagree with. When that happens, just keep walking. There is no need to engage with them, much less follow them home. Find your own group to hang out with.
@grin
I agree, and would like to note that reaching this level requires tremendous amount of experience and the wisdom born out of that. I'd consider that a rarity rather than the norm, so wise people probably ought to teach others how to handle these hasty people, and not to try to change them forcibly because, in the end, it doesn't work that way. You cannot force wisdom onto the unwilling. If one cannot bear them, mute them. It's kindness.
@grin And here I thought, this kind of "wisdom" was one of the requirements to engage in any social network on the internet and part of media competence as taught in elementary school.

Even back in the IRC and usenet days, before facebook, twitter and all that was even thought of, people were told: If you don't like a channel/group, just leave. If you don't like a discussion, don't participate.

I wonder at which point we lost this kind of common sense. And when did it become "wisdom".
@grin
@attilakinali Haha it _never_ worked back then. Why did we need eggdrops kickbanning all over? 🤣
And even before, newsgroups were beautiful fighting grounds.
You know, it's easier when the population is heavily filtered, by education, by tech-savvyness, by openness. When you open it up to the general public on average you get average people. The top of the Bell-curve.
My life spent educating them topcurve people…
@grin Well, kbi was a teaching tool. Either one listened to reason or one got the boot. And it worked. While there were many fights, the general tone was ... less idiotic, for the lack of a better word.
@grin
I am an arrogant asshole, btw. I am probably already muted at multiple places. And it's okay. (I'm also a nice person, sometimes, or so they say though I don't believe in that.)
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